So here we have it- VERO-fication's Top Ten Personality Archetypes- paralleled by common canines. First of all- before anyone writes me of as a misandrist bitch- I mean this in a very interchangeable sense between the sexes- it's all just funnier with the old saying and all..
1. The Attention Whore- Poodle
Good Lord. Haven't we all seen enough of this bitch?? Truth is- every female has a snippet of the Attention Whore in her- just as every guy does with a couple females around him. It's just always annoying when it's someone else doing it.
2. The Clinger- German Shepherd
Loyal, brains and brawn- Straight wifey material.
3. The Existentialist- Basenji
Mischievous. Aloof. Narcissistic. Hot and cold. More amused by the social scene than interested in it. Definitely my type. ;)
4. The Wimp- Chihuahua
We all know this type. When someone picks a fight in the bar on this dude, expect him to "resolve" the situation with a lightning-quick, heartfelt compliment to the menace. Pussy-whipped.
5. The Clubber- Bloodhound
Out until the wee hours of the morning every Wednesday through Sunday, perpetual bloodshot eyes, usually talking quixotic gibberish or in a violent rage. Likes really lame brand-shirts. Normal relationship lasts 4.5 days. A hot mess all around.
6. The Smart Ass- Border Collie
Know-it-all, know-nothings...unfortunate diarrhea of the mouth usually making up for what they lack in other (below the belt) areas. No one likes a smart ass!!
7. The Dumb Ass- Bulldog
Worse than The Smart Ass because their physical features more often than not are a tell-tale sign of retardation before they open their mouth to prove it.
8. The Psycho- Jack Russell
More prevalent in women than in men, we've all known at least one unforgettably remarkable, crazy-ass bitch.
9. The Doormat- Golden Retriever
Walk all over him; he'll pick up your dry-cleaning, do everything from the dishes to your fan mail, and cover you with kisses as you're beating him away with the morning sports page.
10. The Possessive- Doberman
Needs constant updates of your whereabouts throughout the day- the who, what, where, when, why, how- all in thesis form. But it's slightly cute.
