So here we have it- VERO-fication's Top Ten Personality Archetypes- paralleled by common canines. First of all- before anyone writes me of as a misandrist bitch- I mean this in a very interchangeable sense between the sexes- it's all just funnier with the old saying and all..
1. The Attention Whore- Poodle
Good Lord. Haven't we all seen enough of this bitch?? Truth is- every female has a snippet of the Attention Whore in her- just as every guy does with a couple females around him. It's just always annoying when it's someone else doing it.
2. The Clinger- German Shepherd
Loyal, brains and brawn- Straight wifey material.
3. The Existentialist- Basenji
Mischievous. Aloof. Narcissistic. Hot and cold. More amused by the social scene than interested in it. Definitely my type. ;)
4. The Wimp- Chihuahua
We all know this type. When someone picks a fight in the bar on this dude, expect him to "resolve" the situation with a lightning-quick, heartfelt compliment to the menace. Pussy-whipped.
5. The Clubber- Bloodhound
Out until the wee hours of the morning every Wednesday through Sunday, perpetual bloodshot eyes, usually talking quixotic gibberish or in a violent rage. Likes really lame brand-shirts. Normal relationship lasts 4.5 days. A hot mess all around.
6. The Smart Ass- Border Collie
Know-it-all, know-nothings...unfortunate diarrhea of the mouth usually making up for what they lack in other (below the belt) areas. No one likes a smart ass!!
7. The Dumb Ass- Bulldog
Worse than The Smart Ass because their physical features more often than not are a tell-tale sign of retardation before they open their mouth to prove it.
8. The Psycho- Jack Russell
More prevalent in women than in men, we've all known at least one unforgettably remarkable, crazy-ass bitch.
9. The Doormat- Golden Retriever
Walk all over him; he'll pick up your dry-cleaning, do everything from the dishes to your fan mail, and cover you with kisses as you're beating him away with the morning sports page.
10. The Possessive- Doberman
Needs constant updates of your whereabouts throughout the day- the who, what, where, when, why, how- all in thesis form. But it's slightly cute.
Love this. I'd probably be the Border Collie if I wasn't packing. ;)
ReplyDeleteLol. I can see you as a buffed-out Collie, fo sho' ;)
ReplyDelete"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."- Mark Twain
ReplyDeleteWe both know you're brilliant, so I wont bother commenting on the fact. I'm actually wondering where you went. I recently lost you on twitter and haven't seen you about much else of the internet lately. Hope all is well. Still keepings all of your kings in the back row I assume.
ReplyDelete;)
Hi Vero, whatever happened to your Facebook account? I haven't logged in for aged but when I did today your account was gone!
ReplyDeleteHey Vero, you dont know me or anything and I youtubed you out of curiosity; but just wanted to say I read your whole blog and it's really interesting. I also wanted to say, wow you are not the person I thought you were.. you are really deep and that is amazing. anyway keep writing blogs!
ReplyDeleteVeronique:
ReplyDeleteSince I can’t get this stupid Google friend connect to work, I’ll try and contact you this way. Please check out my blog at www.larkinism.blogspot.com and read what I’ve blogged about you. I want to include your story in my book and activism, and I would appreciate it if you would contact me at my contact e-mail address so I can get your feedback on what I have planned.
Thank you much,
Kenneth
hi hello
ReplyDelete