What I will most miss and reminisce about L.A.

October will be my last real month in Los Angeles for a while so I can pull a Sarah Jessica and go to my exciting new Manhattan apartment to get real shit done! My thoughts on leaving.....




What I WON'T MISS-


1. The perfect weather. Sometimes sunshine brings out the dim-wittedness in the best of us.



2. The inaccessibility. Getting from A to B during rush hour in LA (which is pretty much every hour there's sunlight) in a very traumatic thing. It’s a nasty daily test on your sanity that I fail consistently by using the emergency lane on the 405.


3. The obscene fascination with celebrity. And how douchey they really are when they are desperately and unsuccessfully flirting with you and your BFFs at Caffé Primo.


4. The mind numbing conversations you are subject during lunchtime. And the embarrassing Top 40 background music that always seems to be playing in ANY public place.


5. The pretense. Overall lack of originality and genuine culture. Most annoying/apparent with clothing. Everyone seems to be a walking billboard for Gucci, Ed Hardy, bebe, Mercedes Benz- whatever. I have nice things too but I would never purchase something to show other folk I’m branded. That’s so cheesy. In fact nothing is really signature to L.A. but the pretense.




But I WILL MISS-


1. The perfect weather. I’m not gonna front. I will be longing for my always 70 and sunny weather come mid December in Manhattan.


2. The caricatures. The hilarious plastic women and men that aren’t aware of their own comedic value. The garish, trout-lipped, puckering women, the shameless Santa Monica blvd strutters, the ostentatious gays, the Hollywood blvd. train wrecks, the Bev hills transplants, etc, etc, etc..I've got enough laughs to last a lifetime.


3. The power of the grand entrance. Nowhere in the world does an attractive girl hold more power just by walking into a room. Everything is about the "seem" in appearances and men just go primitive when captivated by a hot girl. It’s simply fascinating to watch.


4. The Pretty Girl/Guy card. People just give you free shit all the time if you are mildly attractive and fake a smile. It's an unwritten rule in LA.


5-99..Larchmont Village, evenings on Sunset strip, lazy afternoons around West Hollywood, Main street in Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Zuma beach in Malibu, Studio City, all the cool Farmer's Markets, Westwood village, the Landmark theatre in West LA, Palos Verdes, Beverly center, Hollywood Bowl picnics with your artsy friends, all cool hotel lounges and dive bars and music venues, my typical hangouts- We’ve had our fun but my love has become platonic! I need to lust over exciting new crevices I find in NYC.


Aww.. this is kinda like my Dear John letter to my hometown!! I love you LA, but it's time for me to see real people now.